Enough already. We give up. TERFs are henceforth abandoning our transphobic nonsense and joining the HotP’s (Handmaidens of the Patriarchy, aka libfems). But obviously there remains a huge transphobic group out there, which trans people have to tackle in the interests of equality – the TERMs, or Trans-Exclusionary Real Men, i.e. men who have the transphobic temerity to assert that their dicks are male sexual organs. This must be stopped!
All such references in popular culture and medicine need to be addressed – they’re trans-misandry!!!. You could start with Viagra ads and the entire porn industry – that should keep you busy for quite a while.
Proctologists must also offer screening services to transmen. Whether they need them or not is irrelevant; you must validate their identities. Men considering vasectomies must stop mentioning them as it’s trans-misandrist to transmen. As for erectile dysfunction, don’t go there. How dare you suggest that your ‘penis’ is in any way more male than an overdeveloped clitoris? It is absolutely not necessary for you to have an erection for sex to take place. Just imagine someone penetrating your soft, male vagina and float away on waves of pleasure. Pink waves.
All casual phrases relating balls to masculinity are trans-misandrist and must be changed to include ovaries. That would be balls/ovaries of steel, kicked in a painful portion of the male anatomy, he’s got ovaries/balls. Dudes with balls are henceforth to be referred to as entesticled persons.
Radfems will assist in raising consciousness by briefly identifying as men (perhaps on alternate Sundays), going into men’s bathrooms and filling all the dustbins with used tampons (thanks, SR). Obviously, any objections would be profoundly transphobic; some men menstruate. Trans men are men. Get over it. (H/T to #ManFriday who are already doing this!)
And we assume that gay transmen will soon be getting together to plan their assault on the Jockstrap Ceiling. How dare gay cis-men refuse to sleep with them? It’s transphobic! (Perhaps you could have your convention in a locker-room somewhere, as the trans-masculine equivalent of Planned Parenthood).
Obviously ‘all-male’ spaces must be challenged and abolished, and we expect to see crude representations of ovaries drawn in pubs, at Republican conventions, and all over the Vatican. In any case, if Jesus was the result of a virgin birth then he had XX chromosomes, so was probably a transman. Just like Freddie Mercury.
Rapists will have to have it explained to them that they can no longer use their penises to rape; it contributes to the transphobic notion that the penis is an instrument of male violence. Clearly, the vagina is equally capable of being an instrument of male violence; we’re sure you’ll think of something.
We’re sure the trans lobby will deal with this as effectively as they’ve handled the TERFs. After all, we know you’re really, really committed to equality and all that. You wouldn’t want us to get the wrong idea and think you were just a bunch of narcissistic, misogynistic fetishists, now, would you?